Editorial Review

Revised in 2006 for its twenty-fifth anniversary, this best-selling book is the "bible" for families caring for people with Alzheimer disease, offering comfort and support to millions worldwide. In addition to the practical and compassionate guidance that have made The 36-Hour Day invaluable to caregivers, the fourth edition is the only edition currently available that includes new information on medical research and the delivery of care.

The new edition includes:

-new information on diagnostic evaluation-resources for families and adult children who care for people with dementia-updated legal and financial information-the latest information on nursing homes and other communal living arrangements-new information on research, medications, and the biological causes and effects of dementia

Also available in a large print edition

Praise for The 36-Hour Day:

Reviews

An absolute must for caregivers, July 27, 2007
For those of us who are caregivers, this book is a lifesaver. Before reading this book I was certain that many of the behaviors that my family member exhibits were unique to her. While I often read about Alzheimer's, I never read anything that made me stop and realize that, first, I am not alone, and second, that there are ways that I can handle situations better. This book is full of great suggestions on how to deal with the many behavioral issues that are exhibited by those with Alzheimer's and dementia.

Whenever I have an especially difficult day, I go online to the Alzheimer's page and remind myself how difficult it is for my family member. This book drove home that message, yet more importantly provided me with some tools on how to deal with these issues. I cannot stress enough how much I thought our situation and the behaviors were unique; it is liberating to realize that they are not. As well, understanding why the person exhibits such behaviors makes it much easier to respond correctly.

I wish I could thank the authors personally for this book. I hope they both know that their wisdom, concern and awareness of the Alzheimer patient has made a difference for me, and I am certain has made a difference for many others.

Caregivers -- buy this book, you will find some stress greatly diminished.

Excellent for entire family system, especially the caregiver, September 15, 1999
The book is informative, explicit for people who know nothing about mental health and diseases of the mind. Good for the lay person, the afflicted person, all of the family. Gives insight and helps with understanding care of the patient, and the grief involved for those around the patient. Good reference--I will be using it in a church group setting also.

Dealing family member with Alzheimers, January 17, 2000
I found this book to be a life saver. I thought that I was losing my mind, until I read this book and now I know there is help out there. I have read this book a few times and each time it helps me understand a little more about Alzheimers patient. It is like a bible for people who are dealing with a family member with Alzherimers.

Excellent Guide, April 10, 2007
This is a excellent book and reference for those learning to deal with Alzheimer. Plenty of resources and ideas of what to look for when caring for someone with this disease. You can get a good idea of what to expect and how to help those suffering with this devastating disease. Easy to understand and read. Can't recommend this book enough.

THE 36-HOUR DAY continues to be the 'bible' of recommendation for any caregiver whose family member suffers from dementia., February 7, 2007
When THE 36-HOUR DAY appeared in its original edition it was unprecedented in its information for families struggling to care for people with Alzheimer Disease and other dementias: now this updated 4th edition in large print includes new details on diagnostic evaluation methods, new medications and research, and new social and legal issues involved, and will find a place not only on health and public library shelves, but in the home shelves of caregivers searching for information. From financial aid and nursing homes to alternatives to treatments and living arrangements, THE 36-HOUR DAY continues to be the 'bible' of recommendation for any caregiver whose family member suffers from dementia.

Diane C. Donovan
California Bookwatch

The Answers I Have Been Searching For, July 5, 2004
It doesn't give medical advice, it doesn't give technical advice, although it provides resources for seeking such advice. What it does give are explanations and insights into the thinking of brain impaired persons, explanations for their behaviors, and advice on how to manage and cope with being their caregiver.

These are exactly the answers I have been searching for. So many of my father's actions, reactions and behaviors are profiled in this book, and it's becoming clear that his decline had started many years ago with smaller incidents that we as his family had dismissed. The path of progression can be tracked, and even predicted. It will be helpful to know what's coming next and be prepared. But most important to me is the understanding of why. Being able to understand the why of his behavior helps me a great deal in being able to let go of the anger and to cope better with the situation that has recently escalated to horrific.

In trying to manage the situation I have started taking anti-anxiety meds, as well as antidepressants and high blood pressure med. I have done all that I can to make changes within myself, yet things have gotten progressively worse. I am beginning to understand that these changes have been part of the problem in a sense in that I have become "unpredictable" to him in not reacting the way he expects me to.

The 36-Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People with Alzheimer Disease, Other Dementias, and Memory Loss in Later Life, July 1, 2007
Well-written, easy to read, and comprehansive..excellent resource! I have already recommended it to others facing a future as a caregiver.

Succinct and Thorough, May 6, 2007
This is an exemplary book,thorough and well written re the information essential to dealing with a loved one with alzheimers. I couldn't put it down...not that I enjoyed what I read...but how appropriate it was to the situation at hand.

Help for the family, April 1, 2007
This book has been the single most helpful tool my family has been given to help us help my mother as she progresses with Alzheimer's Disease. While other books have touched on many of the topics in this book, no where else have we found as much practical information on how to avoid confrontations with her; ways to improve her daily living; ideas to keep her involved with us and to provide meaning to her life; questions to ask her doctors; types of resources that are available (depending on your area); what to expect as the disease progresses; and how to help each other as we take on the many different roles needed to provide care for her.

I highly recommend this book to others; in fact, I have purchased multiple copies to share with family members and donate to my local library - that's how helpful and important this book is!

Essential for families experiencing Alzheimer's, January 4, 2001
The small type notwithstanding, this book has been so helpful to us in understanding how to deal with our family member and her spouse. Each experience we have had seems to be covered; I wish we had bought this when we first noticed symptoms, long before she was diagnosed, and long before her spouse would admit there was a problem. However, we did find that when we gave it to the (elderly) spouse, he did not read it and found the large amount of material daunting. I don't think a smaller type face would have helped, as the other reviewers indicated, because it would have then been even a longer, larger book. What he finally *would* read was only a brochure from the doctor, which was very basic. ... Read more

Editorial Review

A remarkable cat. A special gift. A life-changing journey.

They thought he was just a cat.

When Oscar arrived at the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Rhode Island he was a cute little guy with attitude. He loved to stretch out in a puddle of sunlight and chase his tail until he was dizzy. Occasionally he consented to a scratch behind the ears, but only when it suited him. In other words, he was a typical cat. Or so it seemed. It wasn't long before Oscar had created something of a stir.

Apparently, this ordinary cat possesses an extraordinary gift: he knows instinctively when the end of life is near.

Oscar is a welcome distraction for the residents of Steere House, many of whom are living with Alzheimer's. But he never spends much time with them--until they are in their last hours. Then, as if this were his job, Oscar strides purposely into a patient's room, curls up on the bed, and begins his vigil. Oscar provides comfort and companionship when people need him most. And his presence lets caregivers and loved ones know that it's time to say good-bye.

Oscar's gift is a tender mercy. He teaches by example: embracing moments of life that so many of us shy away from.

Making Rounds with Oscar is the story of an unusual cat, the patients he serves, their caregivers, and of one doctor who learned how to listen. Heartfelt, inspiring, and full of humor and pathos, this book allows readers to take a walk into a world rarely seen from the outside, a world we often misunderstand.

Praise for Making Rounds With Oscar

"I love this book -- Oscar has much to teach us about empathy and courage. I couldn't put it down."
-Sarah Gruen, author of Water for Elephants

"At its heart, Dosa's search is more about how people cope with death than Oscar's purported ability to predict it."
-The Associated Press

"Beautifully written, heartwarming [...] Told with profound insight and great respect for all involved, this is more than just a cat story (although it will appeal to fans of Vicki Myron's Dewey)."
-Library Journal

"You'll be moved."
-People

Reviews

A very special cat, January 28, 2010

Even better than you think!, February 1, 2010

Good Book, Misleading Title, February 4, 2010

Dying Slowing With Dementia......., January 30, 2010

PURRFECT in Every Way, February 2, 2010
On July 27, 2007 Oscar the amazing cat who seemed to be able to predict the imminent death of patients at Steere House Nursing and Rehab Center in Providence, Rhode Island made the AP news . Oscar was a stray cat that began to wander the construction site of the current facility, and one day, shortly after the dedication ceremony, he decided to take a tour of the completed facility....."At first the staff tried to shoo the animal away, to no avail, each day the cat returned undaunted, through the lobby's sliding glass doors. His attitude was one of entitlement." He was finally allowed to stay and named Oscar after the building's benefactor.

Oscar was not the only animal that resided at the nursing home. Steere House was unlike other nursing homes in the area. At Steere House, several cats, rabbits and birds resided there, and the residents seemed to enjoy having them there as well. Oscar had not been a very sociable cat during his first year at the nursing and rehab center. He was not one to cuddle up to staff residents or family members. However, one day they found him laying on the bed, purring next to Mrs. Davis, a dementia patient. Dr.Dosa, who was not fond of cats, went to pet Oscar and he hit his hand with his paw refusing to budge from the bed. The doctor examined Mrs Davis, and then left the facility, and about one hour latter the nurse called Dr. Dosa to let him know that Mrs. Davis had passed away. The doctor could not believe what he was hearing; he just left his patent.

Mary, the charge nurse, told Dr. Dosa that this behavior and pattern of Oscars, was not new. In fact it had happened 5-6 times before. The patients were examined, no staff members sensed anything was wrong, and then Oscar would enter the room and sit vigil on the bed of the resident. After a few hours all of these patients peacefully passed away. Suddenly doctors and staff took notice, as to who Oscar choose to visit, and it wasn't long before Oscar had created quite a stir. This ordinary cat instinctively seemed to know when the end of life was near.

MY THOUGHTS - I LOVED this book, and not just because I love cats -- it's full of beautiful quotes about cats, and the story just made me feel good all over. Dr. Dosa has written a book that compassionately addresses end of life issues. The stories he shares about residents and their families who must deal with such painful issues such as Alzheimer's Disease and other forms of dementia, and terminal illness, are tender and heartfelt. The book cites amazing examples of unexpected deaths, as well as miracles in other residents who had been expected to die. There is valuable information about hospice, and the book even touches on that expression "the sweet smell of death", and how perhaps Oscar, may have been able to smell elevated level of chemical compounds which are believed to be released as cells die off." If you like to read tender stories about amazing animals, or need a touching, compassionate read about life, death and dying, this book will not disappoint you. Dewey the Small - Town Library Cat may have touched the world in 2008, but more over Dewey, Oscar is the cat everyone will be talking about in 2010. READ THIS BOOK it's AWESOME! (5/5 stars)

More about the last days of dementia than Oscar the Cat, February 5, 2010

Lessons for All Caregivers of Parents and Other Loved Ones, February 3, 2010
I won't repeat the summaries or insights given by previous good reviewers. I just want to add what this book did for me. This book helped me to better understand, appreciate, and have patience with those aspects of my elderly mother's character and behavior that have been most persistently frustrating to me.

About 3 years ago, my husband and I brought my 87 year old frail mother into our family to live with us for the rest of her life, and she fell and broke her neck, necessitating major surgery, shortly after she came to us. The recovery and life together since has been more rewarding but also more frustrating and taxing than we ever could have imagined. Although she does not have any form of senility, and in fact remains one of the smartest people I've ever known, she is often very frustratingly reckless and uncooperative in her health and wellness care, and that takes a huge toll on those who love her, especially me and my siblings. At times I have found myself more consumed with worry and frustration than love and enjoyment. At times I've felt like the mother who lives with me is not the mother who raised me -- especially when she says or does things that she always taught us not to do.

Making Rounds with Oscar has taught me to enjoy the mother I have today without forsaking the mother I thought I had yesterday. It has taught me to respect her for who she is, even when she endangers or neglects herself despite my husband's and my "due diligence." It has taught me to experience "the moment" for what it is without regret for the past or fear for the future.

In fact, I think any adult child who has any worthwhile relationship with his/her parent should memorize the list of considerations at the end of the book. I'm thankful Dr. Dosa reminded me that part of "honoring" my mother is to honor her today as well as yesterday.

One of the most practical insights this book gave me was the reassurance that care giving for the elderly takes an enormous toll on the care giver, and that is not selfish but even beneficial for me to seek relief help even as my mother insists she does not need it and cannot afford it. I need it and therefore she needs it. Thankfully, her depression-era estimation of being unable to afford it and the realities of the support my father left her are not the same.

Whether your elderly loved one has dementia or not, whether you care about pets or not, whether you believe Oscar can sense impending death and acts in compassion or not, anyone who loves someone nearing the end of his/her life can benefit from this book.

I couldn't put this book down., February 21, 2010
I received this book in the mail on Friday, and by Sunday evening had finished it with tears in my eyes. Not only am I an animal lover, but I have worked with dementia patients in the past. I had the opportunity to see firsthand how going through something like this affects not only the patients, but the families as well. I certainly would hope that a loving presence like Oscar will be there for my loved ones or myself if that were to happen to anyone of us. I would highly recommend this book.

A definite read - especially for those who have family with dementia, February 1, 2010

Heart Warming, February 22, 2010
This book is about so much more than the extraordinary powers of Oscar the cat. It is about the compassionate Dr. Dosa and his caring staff at Steere House. It also gives a strong voice to Dementia and the damage and confusion it causes the elderly and their loved ones. I liked Dr. Dosa's approach in interviewing family members of deceased patients in an attempt to get a better understanding of Oscar's work. Dr. Dosa has to be one of the most down to earth and selfless doctors in this country. Although he can find no medical explanation for Oscar's abilities, he still recognizes that this beautiful creature provides a very necessary service to the Steere House patients and their families. To die alone has to be one of the harshest realities. To watch a loved one die is absolute agony. I just hope Oscar's fame encourages more geriatric medical facilities to add animals to their wards in some capacity. I can only hope that an animal as sensitive and caring as Oscar is around when it is my time to go.

Oscar is truly an amazing cat. This wonderful creature makes sure no one dies alone or grieves alone on his watch. In return, he earns the eternal gratitude of the families...not to mention some well earned affection. Some of the patients' family members were alone when their loved ones were dying and having Oscar there gave them great comfort. Some patients had no family left and would have died alone if not for Oscar's presence.

This book will make you laugh and it will make you cry. If you have ever lost a loved one to Alzheimers or Dementia, this book will give you insight on their suffering. If you have ever felt the unconditional love of a pet, you will come to love Oscar. If you feel that all doctors lack compassion, Dr. Dosa will prove you wrong. Please read this book, it may restore your faith in miracles. ... Read more

Editorial Review

"I didn't expect this."

No one really expects it, but at some time or another, just about everyone has been—or will be—responsible for giving care, for a sustained period, to someone close to them. Gail Sheehy, who has chronicled every major turning point for twentieth-century Americans, as well as reported on everything from politics to sexuality, knows firsthand the trials, fears, and rare joys of caregiving. In Passages in Caregiving, she takes you by the hand and shows you that you will get through this, and you will do the right things.

Sheehy identifies eight crucial stages of caregiving and offers insight for successfully navigating each one. With empathy and intelligence, backed by formidable research, and interspersed with poignant stories of her experience and that of other successful caregivers, Passages in Caregiving addresses the needs of this enormous and growing group. It is sure to become the touchstone for this challenging yet deeply rewarding period in your life journey.

Providing invaluable advice and guidance, this book examines the arc of caregiving from the first signs of trouble. Sheehy answers the most important questions to consider: How serious is it? What do I ask the doctor? How will this be paid for? What are our options? At the same time she offers new tips and strategies that you won't find anywhere else.

Most important, however, Passages in Caregiving points out that you don't have to be alone in this process. Included are countless resources and names of advocacy groups that are there to help even the most complicated of situations, many of which are woefully underutilized. With Gail Sheehy as your guide, Passages in Caregiving is sure to help turn a stressful, life-altering situation into a journey that can be safely navigated and from which everyone can benefit.

Editorial Review

Do You Have
An Aging Parent Who --

• Blames you for everything that goes wrong?
• Cannot tolerate being alone, wants you all the time?
• Is obsessed with health problems, real, or imagined?
• Make unreasonable and/or irrational demands of you?
• Is hostile, negative and critical?

Coping with these traits in parents is an endless high-stress battle for their children. Though there's no medical defination for "difficult" parents, you know when you have one. While it's rare for adults to change their ways late in life, you can stop the vicious merry-go-round of anger, blame, guilt and frustration.

For the first time, here's a common-sense guide from professionals, with more than two decades in the field, on how to smooth communications with a challenging parent. Filled with practical tips for handling contentious behaviors and sample dialogues for some of the most troubling situations, this book addresses many hard issues, including:

Reviews

Practical Pointers for Problem Parents, November 29, 2002
I have read several books and articles on the subject of children providing care for their ailing parents. This book is the first I have read that addresses the challenges of the interpersonal relationship between a grown child and an emotionally-draining parent. All the other books have dealt with the physical ailments of aging, or the individual challenge of being a caregiver.

The authors address several different types of interaction between a grown child and parent that are common today. Any reader frustrated with a difficult parent will find some area of this volume to which he can relate. The authors are quick to emphasize that since parents can't be made to change, the only hope for improving the relational situation is in changing as grown children.

Role-playing is frequently used to illustrate "before" behavior, then to illustrate "after" behavior as a result of using the specific principle suggested. The authors also encourage developing a mental strategy that plans ahead for confrontational situations. By identifying certain phrases and comments that trigger stress, the grown child can redirect the conversation and move it in a healthier direction for both parties.

This book does not address responding to serious diseases with parents, the decision of a nursing home, or major financial frustrations. It does deal with the constant irritation that can and often does develop between an aging parent and a grown child. I recommend it highly to all persons who are dealing with the stress resulting from interacting with a difficult, older parent.

This book is a godsend of practical insight and advice., April 6, 1999
I have been hoping to find a book like this for the past two years. During that time, my three adult siblings and I have struggled with sick elderly parents and their painful, chaotic slide from independent living. There are many books on the needs/problems of the elderly, but this book is unique in that it is written from the perspective of the burned-out offspring trying to give aid and comfort--and it tells how NOT to feel like a guilty failure in the light of your parents' problems. In every chapter there are many practical insights and examples for understanding where your parent is coming from and for providing enlightened support and compassion--without continually sacrificing your own needs. There's a whole chapter on dependent behavior, one on negativity, another on fearfulness, including ways to handle them (and ways NOT to). I bought 5 copies of this book and sent them not only to my brothers and sister, but to two friends who are having trouble trying to help sick, depressed elderly parents. This is a handbook for that. I'd give it 10 stars if I could.

A Small Book Worth Its Weight In Gold, December 25, 2005
This book fills a gap in eldercare literature in a very unique manner. The subject is a touchy one: parents who have suffered with lifelong personality disorders whose problems have been exacerbated by aging. Often they have driven the very children on whom they depend away from them and now need their care. A person in the unenviable position of being a caregiver for such a parent is often uncomfortable even sharing what they are enduring with other people, for fear of looking as though they hate or are slandering their parent("How could their mother possibly be that bad?"). Navigating ordinary eldercare issues is challenging enough without deeply rooted personality disorders complicating matters and emotions.

My own mother suffers from what I now know to be narcissistic personality disorder. She was so fearful from physical and psychological abuse doled out by her own mother, that she clung to both her brother,and myself, her only surviving relatives. Her marriage broke up, and she ended up living with and being supported by her brother. She was fearful that I would marry, or get friends, and any friendship I formed was viewed as a personal affront, and she would let me know that it was her or them--- choose one. If that didn't work she would do something calculatedly embarrassing enough that the friendship was ruined.She worked for only ten years of her life, and never planned for retirement, stating "My girl will always take care of me!" I did take care of her, because I was afraid something bad would happen, her brother had passed away, and she would be totally alone. Finally at age 89, her legs gave out and she had become totally demented---on top of the personality disorder. The hospital staff admitted her to a nursing home. I was still concerned for her, but almost guilty that finally, at age 54, I was relieved to be free to live my own life.

This book just helped me survive Christmas. I am sitting here without a knot in my stomach because I read it from cover to cover right after I received it. I wanted her holidays to feel as much like home as possible, and as I had done for Thanksgiving, I prepared meals for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. When I walked in yesterday afternoon, carrying a huge styrofoam container of food to be microwaved and a decorated live Christmas tree, I heard her ripping me apart to the other residents to "never visiting" and stating that I was a "no good bum!" I would have been angry, hurt, devastated before reading this, but handled it very calmly. As I had promised the staff I came back for Christmas. Today I was a wonderful daughter....She also had no recollection of the fact that I'd even visited yesterday.

For anyone going through a similar experience, the book had covered all the the things that I mentioned above, and more, and I highly recommend it. I'm just surprised my mother's picture isn't on the cover...

excellent guide based on sound theories of human behavior, February 21, 1999
This book applies sound theories of human behavior to the relationship issues between generations. The relationship between the older, difficult parent and the grownchild is fraught with potential for unhappy, even dangerous living conditions. This book clears the air. The authors advise refocusing on the relationship between parent and grownchild rather than indulging in anger, guilt or other unproductive emotions toward the parent. The elderly parent may not be amenable to change. But the relationship can change if the grownchild becomes aware of, and is willing to change his/her part in maintaining a fruitless pattern. Thus the relationship can be molded to a more satisfactory shape by an insightful reader who modifies his response to his parent following the suggestions in the book. The reader freed from patterns that may date back to early childhood is in control of how this cornerstone relationship with parents is conducted. The explicit suggestions in this book show how to do this - how to set boundaries, depersonalize, empathize and above all to understand the parent's behavior rather than react to it. Such change can affect not only the elderly parent/grown child relationship, but other relationships in the grown child's life as well.

Thus, this book suggests the difficult, but necessary, basic changes that can improve our emotional health. Some may need a professional companion to help them apply the principles of the book. The book, however, may be enough for many intelligent readers puzzled by the problems their elderly parents present. The suggestions are concrete, backed up by good case examples and specific to a clientele with which the authors are very familiar. It is a must read for anyone trying to cope with any difficulties the older parent presents, or even anyone hoping not to become a difficult parent. It is also a must read for eldercare professionals who need understanding and practical tips for the problems of this ever increasing population.

At last--the book I've been searching for!, January 11, 2000
An enormous "thank you" to the authors. This book reads like they were running a video camera on my life. Finally, helpful, experienced, =sane= commentary for those of us who struggle with difficult aging parents. This book addresses an important family issue that is usually ignored by other books on aging and caregiving. I'm ordering three more copies for relatives and friends.

The best of the bunch, July 12, 2002
I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I've read the gamut of parent self-help books and found this one to be the most uplifting and practical. I deal with a difficult 86 year old, narcissistic mother who has had many recent illnesses and crises. Barbara and Grace's book gave me the insight and advice needed for me to get past my anger and confusion and start setting limits for my mother while providing her support. It helped me enormously. After reading the book, I also found myself needing care management services for my mom. I'm lucky to be living in the Washington, DC area and was able to use the author's care management services when my mother had emergency surgery and needed 24 hour home help. Barbara is as wonderfully empathetic in person as she is in her book. She helped in both understanding and helping me manage my mother as my mother moved through her latest crisis. I don't think I couldn't managed easily without her help.

This Book is a Sanity Saver!, May 19, 1999
I found my aspects of my mom's personality in just about every scenerioj. We have been making each other miserable since she had to move from independent living - she is angry and so am I. This book offers the information I really needed to hear to keep me getting stressed out even more - and treating my mom with impatience. Thank you, thank you, thank you...

This book was a lifesaver, May 26, 2006
Five years ago, I was struggling with the gut-wrenching dilemma of how to care for my widowed mother, who lived 5 hours from me and vacillated between smothering love and unmitigated rage. Her physical, financial and emotional deterioration and over dependence on me to be her savior were crippling.
Our relationship had always been rocky, but, as long as she was able to live independently, I was able to do the same. When she lost her ability to drive and was living alone in a rural area, I plunged into a seemingly bottomless pit-- seeking care-givers, services for her and trying to meet her day-to-day needs from a distance.
I searched frantically for any article or book which would help me face and deal with the worst dilemma of my life.
How could I care for my aging, ill, emotionally demanding mother and still save myself?
Grace Lebow's book was the only book I could find which spoke to the distress of children dealing with their often unbearable parents--especially as the parents lives were deteriorating.
To know that I was not evil or selfish in needing to protect myself as I attempted to provide for my challenging parent, was the most welcome relief I could have asked for.
My mother has since died and I will forever be grateful to Grace Lebow and her book for allowing me to sleep well and live with good conscience in knowing that I did the best I could for my mom and did not destroy myself in the process.

A small book of immense value, August 21, 2004
After reading this wonderful book, I now find I can pick it up, open it to any page, and find something to make me calm down immediately. I appreciate how the authors are always respectful of the older parent's life and situation. It helps me keep things in perspective as well as deal with more mundane and immediate struggles. The bottom line is on page 118: "... no matter how miserable your parent's controlling and manipulative ways may make you feel, your parent feels worse than you do." I also appreciate chapter 9, "How to keep from being difficult yourself." I have recommended this book to many friends. It is valuable in understanding and dealing with all interpersonal relationships.

A life preserver to a drowning person!, August 14, 2002
Being an only child has left me completely overwhelmed since my father's recent death. This Guide HAD to have been written with my mother in mind! It provides simple, clear concise scenarios that everyone can relate to and better yet, it gives solutions. This book is an absolute MUST read for anyone dealing with a difficult parent in their later years. You will not be sorry to have picked this one up. ... Read more

Editorial Review

101 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO
BEFORE YOUR KIDS LEAVE
HOME is packed with ideas and
advice designed to help parents
prepare their children for life out
in the world, while making sure
that both parents and kids enjoy
every precious moment. From
staging a food fight to serving in
a soup kitchen, from planning a
"tour de neighborhood" bike race
to telling family stories, some suggestions
are fun, some challenging,
and others practical--but all will
inspire parents with ideas for family
time before their kids leave the nest. ... Read more

Editorial Review

This classic family guide to caring for persons with Alzheimer's disease, related dementia, and memory loss in later life is now available in this user-friendly, oversized mass market edition. Reissue. ... Read more

Reviews

Once a Parent-Twice a Child!The Greatest Book for Caregivers, February 28, 2005
Anyone caring for someone with Alzheimer's Disease, other diseases of dementia, or severe memory loss disorders, know just how difficult and consuming it is to care for someone you love. Whether you're a family member, caring for a loved one, or any of a number of healthcare providers, "The 36-Hour Day" is an absolute must-read for all. Put simply, it is a true necessity for anyone involved in the care giving process of dementia-type disorders.

My 73 year old Father was diagnosed, about 8 years ago, with a "memory problem", by his family practitioner in New York. It was far more than simple memory loss, not unusual for someone his age, and the past 4 years of my life have been dedicated to his total care. As much as I love my Father, the demands of caring for someone with Alzheimer's Disease has literally taken over my entire life and in every imaginable way. It is exhausting, depressing, frustrating, demanding and progressively gets worse. And, yes, there have been many special moments that I will treasure forever. I saw a side of my Dad, at times, that was much more loving and compassionate than I ever knew him to be. We played music, talked about old times, watched old movies and tried to harness ourselves into anything and everything that would build his confidence.

The bottom line, however, is that Alzheimer's is a disease that affects the entire family unit. And it's not uncommon for a caregiver to place his/her needs on the back burner, often to a point where they neglect themselves so badly that they become too ill to provide care for their loved on. Families have been torn apart, marriages have ended and friendships neglected that they dissolved. I've also seen people come together in ways that were miraculous. It is so necessary to take care of the caregivers, to offer them respite and to educate family members so they will have the tools to make it through the toughest of times. And, finally, one book does it all.

I believe that reading "The 36-Hour Day" is the first step in understanding Alzheimer's Disease, along with other dementia-type illnesses, and one of the most important and necessary steps a caregiver can take to prepare themselves for the very long road ahead. My friends who are reading this review, this is a very long journey that will require so much of your time, energy, compassion, passion and love. The best advice I can give you is to provide a pathway that will allow you to better understand what lies before you. There is no need to go this road alone. Support is necessary and so is reading literature and books that help you in order that you may help someone else. "The 36-Hour Day" is outstanding and comprehensive in every respect. If I were a wealthy person, I'd supply a copy to anyone who needed one.

Even though I am with him 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and provide all of his care, just this morning he asked me who I was. I reassured him, as I always do, and told him that I was his child, that my name is Peter and that he need not ever worry or get frustrated over trying to remember me or anyone else. Although it kills me inside, to hear this day after day and to see him continually get worse, my job is to remain strong and not take anything personal. None of this is his fault and nowhere, other than in this book, will you ever find the sort of comprehensive guide to caring for someone like my Dad. These memory disorders are far more devastating than the public and the healthcare world can comprehend.

Alzheimer's Disease is not merely forgetting where the car keys were placed or forgetting the name of a neighbor that you might see twice a year. Alzheimer's dementia is about losing everything it is that ever made you who you are. It is about having your rights to drive, and other similar freedoms, taken away. It is about losing your total privacy and needing the assistance of a caregiver to help with cooking or paying bills. Safety becomes the main concern of those who love and care for someone with dementia. It is more than just forgetting ingredients to recipes or the names of famous baseball players. Eventually, it will become more difficult and painful for the caregivers than the suffering patient. And my deep concern is for the caregivers who are still living and have a good life ahead. If our loved ones could speak, they would thank us for everything we have done and ask that we move forward with our lives.

I hope this has helped, even just a little bit. Bless all of you for taking the time to read this. You have my contact information below and feel free to contact me if you would like to discuss this book or even if you just need someone to chat with. The book will teach you the importance of reaching out to others. My hand is waiting to grasp onto yours.

My Sincere Warmth and Regards


Peter V. Cannice
of Scottsdale, Arizona
Email: Horsepete@aol.com

"What a Wonderful Book", October 4, 1999
My Mom has alzeheimers, I didn't think anyone was going through what I was until I read this book, It made me feel like I wasnt alone in this... Alzeheimers is a horrible disease, taking care of someone who has it rips your heart out... This book will help you deal with the everday's of taking care of someone... I recommend it to anyone who is going through this...

Provides direction and help for caretakers and loved ones, June 12, 2003
A truly remarkable book. It is well written, and very easy to read and follow, providing a background in this disease and what can/will happen to those afflicted. Providing extremely helpful insights and strategies for those of us who are caregivers, spouses, sons, daughters, and other family and friends. Personally, this book helped me to understand what was happening to my mother, helped me to be more understanding and less frustrated and annoyed with her. This book provides a great deal of insight and allows the reader to get a "feel" for the current situation and possible future situations. I have recommended this book to my personal physician to pass along to her other patients who may be in the same position as I am.

excellent resource!!!, May 27, 2006
this book was published about 5 years ago. at that time, it was up to date. while much of the neuroimagining and neuroscience has changed during that time, frankly, little has changed in how we protect, communicate with, comfort, love our loved ones or how we take care of ourselves. this book is longer than most. i like that. it gives background information, discusses alternatives with pros and cons, whereas some of the shorter alzheimer books are written more like a physician's pocket resource guide. this is an excellent book. it is one that i have recommended and loaned out to patients' families dozens of times. i always hear the same thing - the book is an invaluable resource. my hope is that nancy mace updates it again soon! this book is well worth the price, new, and perhaps more (did i really say that?)

Known in the caregiving underworld as "THE Caregiver Bible", September 23, 1997
I am currently on my 2nd paperback copy, and it's very well thumbed and soon to be replaced. As a full time caregiver facing the horror of Alzheimer's Disease along with all the hard work and emotional trauma, I find myself returning again and again to this book. Real life answers for the unreal life of coping with dementia in someone you love.

This is an old edition! - latest published in 1999, January 12, 2001
This review is not about the quatity of the book. So far I find it to be full of excellent advise and information.

THIS IS AN OLD EDITION! I was shocked to discover a third edition in a book store last night. The latest edition contains updated information about current treatments, the latest financial information and nursing home legislation.

So buy the book but get the third edition. It is paperback and has different cover.

Gold Standard, December 15, 1999
Well written and informative book. Very practical for concerned family members. I use this book as the gold standard of information for the familiy members of clients I am working with.

Very imformative, very helpful suggestions, deals well with a difficult topic, February 28, 2007
If you have a family member or friend that is showing signs of dimentia, you owe it to yourself to read this book. It's not easy to read, because the subject is a hard one if you are exposed to someone with diminishing mental functions, but that's not the books fault. I have read about 40% of it, and have already learned more than I have in all of my other research on the Internet and in reading a couple of other books and talking to many people. It's well written, the language is easy to read (even if the subject matter is difficult to face), and it provides factual information that is entirely relevant. There is a chapter that explains many of the behavior changes you may face, with excellent suggestions on how to deal with each of them. Most sound like common sense once you read them, some are counterintuitive, but I believe all are more effective than what I had been doing. Knowing the most loving responses to a situation doesn't always give you the ability to implement them in the moment, but knowing is better than ignorance. Parts of this book are worth reading a few times, as you learn and try things and come back and review what's working and what isn't in re-reading the key parts of the book. I highly recommend the book.

A Caregiver's book, August 15, 2002
The 36-Hour Day touches on topics that will become the stuff your life is made of if you are a caregiver. The book discusses the stages of the disease, behavioral issues and prescriptive advise for caregivers. It is essential reading for those who care for someone with Alzheimer's disease.

Doctor Recommended Book to save your sanity !, April 1, 2005
I have recommended this book many times to people who have the heart-breaking task of caring for a family member with Alzheimer Disease or some other form of dementia. This book is the most practical and compassionate guide yet, and is now updated with some recent research (though new research is appearing almost every 6 months!) The most important gift of this book will be an understanding of the most frustrating and exhausting aspects of such caregiving, and the very useful solutions she offers that actually are effective.
Since my medical specialty is to try to prevent dementia, and other age related diseases, I hope my patients arrive in my office long before they have this debilitating disease.

After you get this book, and have learned to care for your aging elder with less stress and burnout for yourself, consider what you can do to prevent this from happening to you!

Dr. Tedde Rinker, Anti-Aging Medical Specialist, Redwood City, CA www.stress-medicine.com ... Read more

Editorial Review

Jolene Brackey has a vision. A vision that will soon look beyond the challenges of Alzheimer's disease and focus more of our energy on creating moments of joy. When a person has short-term memory loss, his life is made up of moments. But if you think about it, our memory is made up of moments, too. We are not able to create a perfectly wonderful day with someone who has dementia, but it is absolutely attainable to create a perfectly wonderful moment; a moment that puts a smile on their face, a twinkle in their eye, or triggers a memory. Five minutes later, they won't remember what you did or said, but the feeling you left them with will linger. ... Read more

Editorial Review

For more than two decades, hospice nurse Maggie Callanan has tended to the terminally ill and been a cornerstone of support for their loved ones. Now the coauthor of the classic bestseller Final Gifts passes along the lessons she has learned from the experts—her patients. Here is the guide we all need to understanding the special needs of the dying and those who care for them.

From supporting a husband or wife faced with the loss of a spouse to helping a dying mother prepare her children to carry on without her, Callanan’s poignant stories illustrate new ways to meet the physical, emotional, and spiritual challenges of this difficult and precious time. She brings welcome clarity to medical and ethical concerns, explaining what to expect at every stage.

Designed to be your companion, resource, and advocate from diagnosis through the final hours, Final Journeys will help you keep the lines of communication open, get the help you need, and create the peaceful end we all hope for.

... Read more

Reviews

A traveler's guide to living though dying, April 12, 2008
In her breakthrough book, Final Gifts, hospice nurse Maggie Callanan and co-author Patricia Kelley explored the "nearing death awareness" of last days. That book continues to be for many readers a revelation of what last moments may be like. Final Journeys takes a longer view, becoming a travelers' guide for living from the diagnosis of a terminal illness through to nearing death awareness and on to the last breath.

Like the author herself, Final Journeys is intensely practical and straightforward, flashed with humor and warmed by an all-pervasive empathy. A sampling of chapter titles hints of honest looks at difficult questions: "Don't Tell Mom She's Dying. It'll Kill Her!"; "Choosing Treatments--and Knowing Which Are Optional"; "`We Can't Just Let Him Starve to Death!': Deciding About Artificial Nutrition"; "Finding Power in a Powerless Situation"; "I Love You, Mom, and I Want to Help, but I'm Not Moving to Miami!"

From recognizing what's fixable and what's not...understanding when not to call 911...talking to the children...dealing with the out-of-town family member who swoops in ready to take charge...to an explanation of the Medicare hospice benefit and the dying person's Bill of Rights--what Callanan does is make the unthinkable manageable.

Who is this book for? For everyone who will one day die and wants to be as ready as possible. For anyone who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and for the family members and friends of that person who wonder what to expect and how to cope. For anyone who thinks calling hospice is equivalent to "giving up." For every public library (I have already suggested that my library order two). For hospice and palliative care volunteers.

Readers who have been enthusiastic about Final Gifts--and who isn't?--will welcome this companion work, which seems bound to become a classic alongside its sister title.

Nancy Evans Bush, MA
Vice President and Chair of Publications
International Association for Near-Death Studies, Inc.

Easing the journey of dying, April 14, 2008
Of all the stages in life, that of dying appears to be the most difficult: emotions run high, tempers flare, accusations fly, tears flow all the time, or is that just my family? Seriously, it can be such a chaotic and emotional time that I think it is very easy to lose track of what can be most important: understanding the dying person's process, and coming to terms with that process.

I read Ms. Callanan's first book, Final Gifts, several years ago and it gave me great insight into how I could better relate to someone who is dying. In this book she really addresses the dying process from the side of the caregiver, and I couldn't thank her more. I read this as my own father was dying and I think I used something from every chapter to help my father pass a little more comfortably, and to help keep my family and me from going crazy with stress.

I would encourage people to read this book. Even if you don't know someone who is dying, you never know when this sort of info will turn out to be needed. God bless.

A guidebook for dealing with the inevitable final journeys., May 2, 2008
Along with her first book, "Final Gifts", this latest work is required reading for anyone - and there are many, many of us out there - facing the issue of elder-care and the loss of a partner or loved one. There is a certain sensitivity in "Final Journeys" that is important and based on the author's years of work as a nurse in Hospice. Important book to read.

Compassion and knowledge, June 10, 2008
When dealing with end-of-life issues, many people have found Maggie Callanan's (co-authored) book, Final Gifts, to be both comforting and inspirational. She has now followed up with its "prequel," Final Journeys. As before, Callanan combines a wealth of practical experience in Hospice nursing with her own remarkable blend of compassion and humor. Anyone who faces the passing of a loved one really must read this book; anyone consciously facing their own passing will hope that Callanan - or her clone! - can attend them at the end.

One of the most useful aspects is her description of symptoms of the end of life that are typical, yet which we might not recognize and respect for what they are. As the author makes clear, there is no one path for the final journey, and it behooves those nearby to recognize and respect the style of their loved one. For example, in an attempt to "be there for them" it is possible to tire the patient with too much attention, as they are attempting to rest and "wind down." Equally, it is necessary to recognize when they may need to see a certain person in order to accomplish the task of closure and resolving "unfinished business" with that person. It is necessary to listen closely to the patient without one's preconceived notions intervening. Spiritual, dietary, and companionship needs vary widely depending on the patient; it's truly not "one size fits all."

Callanan defines a problem that I and perhaps many of us have experienced: the feeling that your loved ones will find it terribly sad, almost impossible, to go on with their lives without us when we die. Apparently in many cases, one important task of the caregivers is to give the patient permission to go, assuring them that we will be all right afterwards, while acknowledging the closeness of the bond between us.

Callanan is so remarkable in her ability to convey her experiences and feelings through stories that you will be completely engaged throughout this book with a renewed appreciation of her humanistic approach to nursing. Her caring approach to both the patient and the family rescues some potentially explosive situations with people you come to care about through her descriptions. And if you can read Chapter 35 without shedding a few tears, you really need to have your DNA checked out to make sure you're really human!

Comprehensive, compassionate end-of-life guidance., July 20, 2008
An outstanding source of information and support for the elderly, their caregivers, and family members ... what to expect and how to cope physically and emotionally at every stage of dying. There's also lots of practical information about advance directives, benefits, and resources. In my aunt's final years, I benefitted from neighbor and hospice nurse Maggie Callanan's personal guidance. Now her book is available to help everyone. I highly recommend it.

An Excellent book, May 26, 2009
This book, and the earlier book by the same auther "Final Gifts" are wonderful guides to anyone facing the loss of a loved one. Written by a Hospice nurse, it gives tremendous insights drawn from her years of experience with the Hospice program.

I was told about these two books during grief counciling by Hospice after the loss of my wife from Cancer. My regret is that I did not find them to read a few weeks BEFORE my wife's passing....They would have been so helpful. If you have a loved one in Hospice care, or simply with a terminal illness, I heartily reccommend these two books. They will give you understanding that you need during these difficult times.

Should be on every family's reference shelf, September 12, 2009
Readers familiar with Maggie Callanan's first book--Final Gifts--will welcome this "sequel": a book that is similar in some ways, very different in other ways, from that earlier volume. Like Final Gifts, this book deals with issues around death and dying; like that earlier volume, Final Journeys is largely a book of stories, based on Callanan's extensive experience as a hospice/palliative care nurse.

The difference between the two books has to do with the far more extensive material covered in this second volume. Whereas Final Gifts deals exclusively with the area of "nearing death awareness", Final Journeys covers the full spectrum of issues that are an inevitable part of the human experience of death and dying. The word "practical" in the book's subtitle is an accurate reflection of the book's contents; the book's anecdotes, and Callanan's commentary, address all of the issues that face the dying and those who are caring for/in relationship with those who are dying. And while the book is written from the perspective of someone who genuinely believes in the life of a world beyond this world, I believe this book will be useful even to those who do not share that belief.

Given our tendency to live in denial of death, coupled with the stark fact that we and each of our loved ones will one day die, this is one volume that can rightly claim shelf-space as part of every family's reference library. Highly recommended

Final Journeys: A Practical Guide for Bringing Care and Comfort, October 10, 2009
I wish, I would have found this book sooner. My Mother passed away in Hospice care with great love and comfort. We as a society don't understand death nor the process of the end of life. The insight, in this book was just what we needed.If you have anyone who is terminal, this is the MUST BUY book. Myself and my Father understood as she progressed through her life and I feel the information we needed for accepting her passing.

Final Journeys, April 23, 2009
Even though I am still reading this, it is quite helpful in understanding how to give a dying person, through hospice, a chance at controlling his/her own death. An excellent book, very practical.

Final Journeys by Maggie Callanan, April 21, 2009
I am presently working as an RN on a telemetry unit, but am increasingly upset doing acute care, especially when palliative care is warranted but not yet embraced by the patient, family and doctor. So I am pursuing a Masters in Nursing Education with a specialty in palliative care. This book moved me so much that I am putting it on my annotated bibliography! ... Read more

Editorial Review

The best and bestselling book of its kind. Originally published in 1995, How to Care for Aging Parents, with 220,000 copies in print, won a Books for a Better Life Award and was praised as "an indispensable book" (AARP) and "a compassionate guide of encyclopedic proportion" (The Washington Post). It also catapulted its author, Virginia Morris, to national prominence as a recognized eldercare authority on Oprah, Good Morning America, CNN, CBS, and other media.

Nine years later, and the need for the book is mushrooming: the number of adult children caring for a parent has increased from 4 million to 19.5 million, with roughly 80% of the nation's elderly cared for at home. Virginia Morris responds with a completely revised, up-to-date new edition. Expanded from 450 to over 650 pages, it covers all the emotional, legal, financial, medical, and logistical issues in caring for the elderly. There are new sections on expanded housing options, alternative therapies, balancing career and caregiving, and dealing with difficult parents. It covers the biggest change in caregiving--the newfound independence of seniors and benefits of healthy aging--and the reverse: three chapters are dedicated to caring for parents with Alzheimers. At the end of the book is an invaluable 100-page "Yellow Pages" guide to all the resources and services of the enormous eldercare industry. ... Read more

Reviews

got parents? get this book, December 29, 2004
As we venture into this new and unknown territory - taking care to those whom we always depended on to take care of us - this is the first, second and only book you need. In a gentle and humorous way, Ms. Morris guides you through all of the aspects of this unknown road including the medical, legal, mental, physical, etc. Maybe my favorite chapter is the one in which Ms. Morris insists that you make sure of taking care of yourself first. I saw Ms. Morris on "Oprah" and bought the book for my "first parent". Now the book comes out "bigger, better, and improved" for my second parent. Strange to think that a book can be such a gift to our real lives. I can not recommend this book more strongly.

Caring and Empowering, August 30, 2005
I just had to give a review when I stumbled across this at Amazon. My father went from being healthy and independent to just the opposite in one day (from a fall- then into hospital, caught an infection and went downhill from there.)There was a TON of things to figure out from medicare to power of attorney, where to place him, what to expect etc.... This book is written with such kindness and is full of information that is invaluable. At least for me, it was exactly what I needed. And if you're going through this, I wish you all the best.

Excellent Beginner's Book!, October 17, 2005
I picked this up to learn how I could help my mother take care of her father and found it extremely helpful. It is written in clear, understandable language, with several personal accounts scattered throughout, as well as information on where to go for more help. And you WILL need more help - but this book does a great job of pointing you in the right direction. It makes a very complex problem seem manageable. There are at least 50 pages at the back of the book that provide contact information on elder care agencies, geriactric care managers, elder care lawyers, etc.

If you think this book might help you, it will., June 7, 2006
I'm not one for self-help books, but when my father's Alzheimers began to consume him and jeopardize my mother's physical, mental, and financial condition, I turned to this book for help and found it more valuable than I ever could have imagined. It is filled with easy-to-follow advice and very practical steps that can be taken to address your situation. The author has done so much research and identified so many resources that reading the book saves untold time and agony. I only wish I had found it sooner.

Excellent guide to tough questions, June 10, 2006
Virginia Morris' book "How to Care For Aging Parents" is the essential reference book for anyone who is or will be caring for the elderly. It is clearly written, carefully researched and thoroughly indexed to provide quick access to all questions. As a psychotherapist I keep this book close at hand to help unsnarl any issues with or about the aging population.

Elder Care, August 22, 2008
This book is an exceptional reference for anyone who may care for an elder, who is taking care of their elder, making funeral arrangements for them, or who is settling their estate. It is comprehensive. The book includes, among other things, ways to approach sensitive topics with one's parents, preparing to contain crisis management, signs that an elder may need help, options, resources and best practices for application at any point from full health through closing an elder's estate. Additionally, the author understands the emotional and physical impact to the care giver and offers very helpful recommendations. This book was a tremendous help to me and, because of its pointers, my father. I used this book for the three years I had the privilege to be my Dad's care giver. I have given this book as a gift to numerous friends who have shared it with their friends and family.

A helpful reference for Baby Boomers with Aging Parents, August 17, 2008
I was alerted to this book by a friend. Originally, I used a library copy, but decided it was so full of information I may need in the future that I purchased my own copy for reference. It is the most help in one place that I have found.

Excellent Information!, May 20, 2008
This book was recommended to me by a co-worker who had dealt with the illness and eventual death of her father-in-law. It provided so much excellent practical information that I used immediately in caring for my parents. An added bonus is the reassurance it gives to me and my siblings as caretakers for the ones who once cared for us. Highly recommended!

One of the best books around, December 12, 2007
As part of my research for building caring.com, I read six eldercare handbooks and found Virginia's one of the very best. The tone is practical and compassionate, and every subject is covered in depth. She knows firsthand about the challenges of taking care of a sick parent, and her book will help you get through them.

Caring for the Elderly, November 25, 2010
This book is packed with copious information, resources, and references that can also help you care for yourself while caring for those you love. There are many practical tips on emotional and financial considerations to help prepare before getting steeped in a full-blown crisis. Knowing beforehand where and how to get the right info helps relieve a lot of the common stresses in a stage of life which can sometimes last for many years of not-so-welcome changes.

I appreciate the thorough content and logical organization of this reference manual, which addresses many common challenges caregivers for the elderly encounter. ... Read more

Editorial Review

The only guide you’ll ever need to manage the care of your aging family

FULLY REVISED AND UPDATED


As our population shifts and ages, the care needs for our elders continue to change and evolve. Today’s generation of family and professional caregivers faces new decisions and challenges, as well as previously unavailable options. This thoroughly revised and updated 2009 edition of The Complete Eldercare Planner equips you with reliable, up-to-the-minute information to help you plan and manage caring for your loved ones.

Comprehensive and detailed, sensitive and realistic, practical and accessible, the 2009 edition provides even more tips on prioritizing and organizing caregiving tasks, balancing work and family responsibilities, and navigating the complex maze of eldercare services. In addition to an expanded index of Internet resources and access to downloadable forms of key documents, you’ll find indispensable checklists, worksheets, step-by-step action plans, lists of questions to ask, low-cost and free alternative resources, and The Document Locator™.This new edition covers:

•Getting started on creating a long-term care plan
•Finding help, especially if you live far away
•Managing the financial aspects
•Talking to elders about sensitive subjects
•Senior housing–move or stay put?
•Managing medications
•And many other topics of vital interest to anyone caring for an elder ... Read more

Reviews

Best book available, July 4, 2009
The Complete Eldercare Planner by Joy Loverde is an amazing combination of practical information, and informed guidance on how to negotiate the challenges of personal aging, and aging relatives. I have worked in the health promotion and aging field for over 35 years and have seldom seen this much information in one place on any topic. It is well organized, easy to understand, and honest about the realities of the difficulties of aging in our culture. I cannot think of any major question faced by those involved in this part of the life cycle that is not included in the book. The inclusion of many checklists, and other resource lists will simply the process of decision making every step of the way. My advice to those with questions about Eldercare is to buy this book, use it, and share it with those in your immediate family. You will be in a better position to handle the complex situations that emerge as you navigate this part of your family life cycle.

Overwhelming Help in a crisis time of need, November 6, 2009
A note from the author... I hope you find this review helpful...


Recently I found myself along with 3 other siblings and spouses thrust into new uncharted waters in a totally new season of our lives. Suddenly and without any training we were and continue to this day having to take care of my aging parents. I for one will freely admit that as a child I was never trained, prepared, nor exceptionally gifted to undertake such a task. It is just not the type of thing that you can ever really get to a line and say ready...set...go...and do it very well. Elderly health care in 2005 does not always afford us the luxury of any long preparation either emotionally or financially.

Suddenly unmercifully and usually without warning you hear over the phone in the midst of a busy American routine those words you dread. It's Cancer, a stroke, or replacement surgery, just minor or major operations which means weeks of homecare and hospitalization's, etc., You are suddenly no longer swinging a few bats warming up in the on deck circle there in safety at a bit of distance. But you find yourself thrust into the batters box. You are no longer the stand by just in case fill in player who dressed for the game just in case you would or might be needed. But suddenly with a phone call, you find yourself thrust without any prior warning into the batters box. You are to take charge with 3 others voices and votes, your parents primary healthcare.

Now, if you call a frantic call for "HELP" in the middle of the night when just the week before things were okay a warning, well then, you're doing better than we were. You find yourself suddenly up at the plate with bases loaded, two outs, bottom of the ninth your teams behind 3 runs. To top it off you're facing a 94mph fastball pitcher who also throws a mean slider called the reality of life. You have never been good at hitting these kinds of pitches. Much less being the homerun hitter the team needs at this moment and are all looking to you now for. Then you hear through your wife there is a book available on just such a thing. It allows you to calmly and logically check out all of your options. It tells you in simple language just how you go about walking through this difficult mine field you've been thrust into without training or any real prior warning. It tells you how to do this without losing your mind, your family unity, and most of all your parents dignity.

I found myself literally reading the pages of Joy's, "Elder Care" wonderful "How TO" book on the plane going headed to Florida. I was then going there for my Dad's 80th B-day party as well as a visit to help out for 10 days at my elderly parents. Little did I know then, that I would see those 10 days turn suddenly into 46 long and hectic days I ended up spending there. Little did I realize as I paged through this how to book on Elderly Care that it would be like a daily Bible to me. I was literally reading a chapter ahead of the events as they unfolded in the next days. It was giving me the answers to question I had not yet asked, but found myself doing so in the next days to follow.

As a former Eagle Scout, USMC SGT., Police Officer, Business owner, 20 years as a Lay Minister and being Happily Married to the same woman for over 26 years now, I'd received lots and lots of great training. Even you will have to admit that this background covers a lot of diversified and really good training. But nothing, absolutely nothing, but my Faith prepared me emotionally, physically, or all of us financially for the events that would suddenly and totally unwelcomed show up in the middle of the night. They just seem to attack you without ceasing on these issues when it's "Your Mom or Dad."

Thank you Joy, for the time it must have taken you and the wealth of information this book contains. I personally know that it was truly a Godsend at a time of crisis in our lives. It still today continues to guide us along these slippery slopes. But because of this well timed work of Mercy and Grace, we have maintained as a family, and continued to allow my parents their Dignity and somewhat their independence. I believe this book will help answer the question of the heart on elderly care and give you practical and timely information to steer you to through the minefields of elderly care life. You should have a copy on the shelf in your own homes and be reading it now, if your parents are near or reaching retirement age.

We waited and it caught us totally by surprise. But it didn't catch Joy by surprise...I personally believe that she was obedient to the Spirit of God to produce this work for a time such as this. Our generation will Thank Her one day I believe for her unselfish actions in writing this Elder Care "How To Bible" for the uniformed. The Word of God says that "...my people perish for a lack of knowledge..." I believe that this book is full of knowledge that will help us all in our moments of crisis and bring life and health to all who read it.

Thanks for listening to my lengthy review and a very special Thanks to You Joy. You just keep on writing Joy and we will keep getting filled with the great knowledge we all need and can practically use for our loved ones. God Bless you and again... Thank you from our families hearts to yours.

God Bless You,
David D. Spaulding

A must read, September 27, 2009
Joy Loverde's guide was like having a personal advocate walking along side me and my family as we cared for aging parents. Not only was every issue addressed in a practical manner, it was obcvious that Ms. Loverede cares deepley for elders and those assisting them. I recommend this as a must read to everyone. I know they will find answers to their questions and be blessed along the way.

A "must" book for all Boomers and their Aging Parents, April 17, 2009
Simply excellent...I just finished the book, cover to cover, A+...This is a
"foundational book" that every Baby Boomer should own (in addition to my
book)...Nice work Joy...Nice work... David Solie, author of "How to Say It
To Seniors"How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders

From how to talk over issues to assessing senior housing options and managing medication, August 14, 2009
This could have been featured in our 'Health' section, but is reviewed here for its wider applicability to any library concerned with social services, social issues, and eldercare. "The Complete Eldercare Planner" has been revised and completely updated for 2009 and offers the latest information on work, family, and creating a long-term, affordable care plan for an elderly loved one. From how to talk over issues to assessing senior housing options and managing medication, "The Complete Eldercare Planner" should be in every public library's collection.

Most Valuable Resource, July 28, 2009
This book continues to be the first place I refer people who ask me what to do for their aging parents. Having been in the senior living industry for nearly 25 years, I know what people need to look for. But I still encourage the many people who ask my advice to start with Joy's book! The last person I directed to the book told me that she had no idea just how helpful the information would be before she read it and that she agreed that it was a "must read" before even starting to look for senior living options for her parents.

Books o Eldercare, May 31, 2010
I bought this book to prepare for the time when I will need it for my mother. The book is informative and a good resource. I am glad that I bought it.

My "go to" resource for caregiver questions., July 30, 2009
The Complete Eldercare Planner is truly the complete resource for any questions I've had in caring for aging family members. Joy not only tackles needs for everyday existence, but she provides guidance in dealing with the emotional issues for both the caregiver and the elder. The Complete Eldercare Planner is a must read for anyone that has aging parents, family members or friends and I recommend it highly! ... Read more

Editorial Review

A practical guide to bridging the generation gap.

In How to Say It(r) to Seniors, geriatric psychology expert David Solie offers help in removing the typical communication blocks many experience with the elderly. By sharing his insights into the later stages of life, Solie helps in understanding the unique perspective of seniors, and provides the tools to relate to them. ... Read more

Editorial Review

A glass-half-full look at Alzheimer’s that reveals how to connect with someone through the fog of the disease.

As many as five million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s. The popular perception of the disease is that people who receive an Alzheimer’s diagnosis are lost to themselves and to those who love them—and that they have no future. But as John Zeisel, an innovator in nonpharmacological approaches to treating Alzheimer’s, makes clear in this book, this view is wrong. The disease often lasts ten to fifteen years—a time span that definitely constitutes a future. In I’m Still Here, Zeisel shows that during the course of Alzheimer’s, caregivers can have a vibrant and meaningful relationship with people who have the disease.

I’m Still Here focuses on connecting with individuals with Alzheimer’s through their abilities that don’t diminish with time, such as understanding music, art, facial expressions, and touch. Zeisel demonstrates that people who have the disease are highly creative and emotionally intelligent. By harnessing these capacities, and by using other approaches to treatment—such as building memory cues into their living environment, which encourages independent movement and helps eliminate sources of frustration—it’s possible to offer them a quality life with connection to others and to the world. ... Read more

Reviews

I'm Still Here, April 29, 2009
I am an RN, and have a mother with Alzheimer's. I have read at least 5 books on this subject, but when I found "I'm Still Here", I was very so surprised. This book is the best I have read so far, it is the most beautiful, compassionate and helpful book for everyone being in contact with a person suffering from Alzheimer's disease. You will be so glad you read it! I sent it to my dad who is the caregiver for my mom. He was somewhat skeptical; I had suggested other books before. But when he started reading this one, he emailed me "I wish I had had this book a year ago".... Please, give yourself the gift of this book.

This mixed Bag has Some Good Tips, November 21, 2009
This book may be helpful and appreciated by readers who don't understand the behavioral changes that the Alzheimer's victim manifests and need to be told that there is- indeed still a person in there. I use the word "victim" even though Zeisel prefers to call them "people living with Alzheimers" because Alzheimer's disease not only predictably produces a downward spiral toward death but changes the very essence of who the victim is- including social roles and self- care abilities such as dressing or bathing and ultimately the ability to swallow food. They are indeed victims of what might be considered one of the most terrifying diseases.

Zeisel also uses another euphemism- the word "partner" instead of "caregiver"- almost as though to minimize the devastation experienced by spouses, friends and children as they lose previous social relationships (especially of spouses), take on the burden of making financial and health care decisions and endure the physical demands of dressing, toileting and feeding another person. This is not a partnership. It is the caregiver who is responsible for finding financial assistance for home care or a facility that provides adequate care and stimulation.

I'm Still Here offers some good tips on behavioral interventions and setting up the environment to promote quality of life and decrease agitation. The Arts program as described provides the much needed social and sensory stimulation many memory impaired individuals lack. But all of this stimulation can be provided with meaningful photographs, music, familiar movie clips and other personalized sensory stimulation modalities such as smelling the familiar aroma of apple pie. I do not believe that the person whose altered brain results in inaccurate visual perceptions, loss of speech and confusion in general has increased emotional connections that makes her especially good at art appreciation, although that sounds like a very inviting concept.

People with Alzheimer's disease live in the present and they respond to loving voice and touch because-well we all do, but they are especially responsive to sensory stimulation because when they can no longer have discussions or do complex tasks- they relate through their senses rather than higher cognitive processes. Occupational therapists are health care professionals (not mentioned in the book) who specialize in evaluating the patient's cognitive, sensory and motor abilities and adapting the environment and activities according to skill levels and as a result help the person achieve the best possible quality of life. Occupational therapists can help caregivers provide the type of sensory stimulation which may or may not involve the arts- to stimulate and promote social connections.

Zeisel describes his approach to Alzheimer's disease as a glass half full and relationships between people living with alzheimer's and their "partners" as filled with many gifts. If this half full glass analogy promotes family involvement and a half empty glass perspective keeps caregivers away - please do keep filling the glass. As an occupational therapist who advocated for and stimulated her mother during her eight years of institutional living, I also had many positive experiences, including a closer relationship and knowing that I helped my mother receive the best care possible. If Zeisel's book encourages other care givers to do the same- I would consider his book a gift.
Barbara Smith, M.S., OTR/L author of Still Giving Kisses: A Guide to Helping and Enjoying the Alzheimer's Victim You Love

A wonderful book about how the arts are powerful tools to reach and interact with those living with Alztheimer's, February 1, 2010
I am an expressive arts therapist and have been working with individuals and groups with Alztheimer's for 30 years and I loved the book, I'm Still Here. Thank you Dr. Zeisel for your thoughtful research and insight into the life of those living with this challenge. I also enjoyed the Documentary, I Remember Better When I Paint. I work in some of the best assisted living and nursing homes in the Boston area and all believe that art, dance, music and drama are powerful ways to touch the hearts of these individuals. With continued research and documentation about these modalities, they will be better understood and trusted. Great job. Susan Swanson M.A.,ATR

Must Read, August 27, 2009
This book offers a different view of Alzheimer's; possibilities for living as opposed to preparing for death. It offers insights and ideas for those who have and those who care about those who have Alzheimer's. I would highly recommend reading it. The thoughts behind the ideas can be so broadly applied in all our communications.

Important, Insightful, Useful, September 3, 2009
This book is an important book for all of us who have family, friends or patients with Alzheimers and dementia. Wonderfully written with many grounded insights. I can't recommend it highly enough.

a simpleway to change the world, August 20, 2009
Mr. Zeisels book has the chance to change the world, one person at a time. If you have memory problems, care for loved ones or work in the field that touches those with memory problems you should read this. It is a very practical book, that encourages stepping aside and viewing the world from a different place that allows for quality of life for ALL, caregivers included.
I highly recommend it and have sent it to others I care about.

A fresh approach to Alzheimer's, June 30, 2009
Most of the articles about Alzheimer's leave me depressed. The author has found ways to improve our understanding of the process and how to make a positive influence on the patient's behavior and mental status. He has many helpful hints and I recommended it for any caretakers.

Hope for Alzheimers, June 7, 2009
A sensitive, well-written and helpful exposition of ways to develop relationships with those who suffer from Alzheimers and dementia. With the creative use of new ways to connect, this book offers hope for caregivers and specific approaches as well. A valuable contribution and a must for anyone involved in the care of these persons.

A book on Alzheimer's that leaves you feeling upbeat, November 9, 2009
A must read for anyone caring for a person living with Alzheimer's or other related forms of dementia. I ordered one for myself to further my understanding of the disease. After reading it I bought two more copies for the professional caregivers that live with my mother-in-law and one to pass around to others who are new to living with Alzheimer's. It's not often you read about this disease and come away feeling hopeful and upbeat. Kudos to Dr. Zeisel for blending his experiential learning and observations with relevant scientific data and research to support his thesis. My own involvement with family members substantiates the strength of emotional memories being not only intact but also accessible with appropriate cues and prompts. ... Read more

Editorial Review

Editorial Review

Mary Pipher's phenomenal New York Times bestseller-a book about us and our parents...

"[Pipher] ventures into communities and then returns to explain their truths and ways of being to the rest of us in clear, clean English.Totally accessible...[Another Country] is a compassionate...look at the disconnect between baby boomers and their aging parents or grandparents." -USAToday

There are more older people in America today than ever before.They are our parents and grandparents, our aunts and uncles and in-laws.They are living longer, but in a culture that has come to worship youth-a culture in which families have dispersed, communities have broken down, and older people are isolated. Meanwhile, adults in two-career families are struggling to divide their time among their kids, their jobs, and their aging parents-searching for the right words to talk about loneliness, forgetfulness, or selling the house.

Another Country is a field guide to this rough terrain for a generation of baby boomers who are finding themselves unprepared to care for those who have always cared for them. Psychologist and bestselling writer Mary Pipher maps out strategies that help bridge the gaps that separate us from our elders.And with her inimitable combination of respect and realism, she offers us new ways of supporting each other-new ways of sharing our time, our energy, and our love.

"In Another Country, [Pipher] observes that to grow old for many people in today's fragmented, age-phobic, age-segregated America is to inhabit a foreign country, isolated, disconnected and misunderstood."-New York Times

"Pipher explores how today's mobile, individualistic, media-drenched culture prevents so many dependent old people, and the relatives trying to do right by them, from getting what they need...her insights will help people of several generations."-The Washington Post

"[Pipher] wrote [Another Country] to help Boomers like herself better understand their parents and grandparents and to glimpse what might await them in their old age."-Chicago Tribune

"Mary Pipher urges baby boomers to stay in tune with their elderly parents' needs...With average life expectancy now in the mid-70s and 2 million Americans turning 65 each year-a number that will skyrocket as the baby boomer generation ages-the stakes are raised for families and societies alike."-People

"The author of Reviving Ophelia unflinchingly takes us into the heart of this largely uncharted territory."-Rocky Mountain News

"A field guide to old age, combining personal stories with social theory."-Boston Globe

"Dr. Pipher sees aging from a broader perspective.[She] emphasizes the need for the elderly to become elders-people who can help us find a deep structure for our communities-[and] she makes a persuasive case for roots."-Christian Science Monitor

"This is a book that thoughtful Boomers can embrace as their own...Another Country looks at issues like care-giving, death, generational relations and the resiliency many elders display in old age. It offers advice on improving our relationships with other generations and with understanding our own passing years."-St. Petersburg Times

"Rich in stories and full in details....For people wondering about their parents' or more poignantly, their own aging."-St. Louis Post-Dispatch

"[Mary Pipher] comes across as neither saint nor scold. [Another Country is] not a how-to book, but a how-to-think book."-Minnesota Star Tribune ... Read more

Editorial Review

A riveting, often humorous, non-fiction novel that chronicles JacquelineMarcell's trials and tribulations, and eventual success at managing the careof her aging parents. Elder Rage is also an extensive self-help book withsolutions for effective management, medically and behaviorally, ofchallenging elders who resist care. Includes answers to difficult "how to"questions like: getting obstinate elders to give up driving, accept acaregiver, see a different doctor, go to adult day care, move to a newresidence--and includes a wealth of valuable resources, websites andrecommended reading. The addendum by renowned dementia specialist, RodmanShankle, MS MD: A Physician’s Guide to Treating Dementia, makes it valuablefor everyone from the family to the physician. Elder Rage is requiredreading at several universities for graduate courses in geriatric assessmentand management. ... Read more

Editorial Review

Your parents are growing older and are getting forgetful, starting to slow down, or worse. Suddenly you find yourself at the cusp of one of the most important transitions in your life—and the life of your family. Your parents need you and your siblings to step up and take care of them, a little or a lot. To make the right things happen, you will all need to work together. And yet your siblings may have very different ideas from yours of what’s best for Mom and Dad. They may be completely uninterested in helping, leaving you with all the responsibility. Or they may take charge and not allow you to help, or criticize whatever help you do give. Will you and your siblings be able to reach an understanding and work together, or will the challenges you face tear you apart? 

    Most of us enter this period of our lives unprepared for the difficult decisions and delicate negotiations that lie ahead. This is the first book that provides guidance on the transition from the “old” family to the “new” one, especially for adult siblings. Here you’ll find practical advice on a wide range of topics including
 
• Who will make major medical decisions, manage finances, and enforce end-of-life choices if your parents cannot? And how will this be decided and carried out?
• How will you negotiate caregiving issues and deal with unequal contributions or power struggles?  
• How can inheritance and the division of property, assets, and personal effects be handled to minimize hurt feelings and resentment?
• How will you cope with the natural reemergence of unresolved childhood rivalries, hurts, and needs?
• How can caring for your parents be an enriching experience rather than a thankless chore?
• Most important, how can you ensure the best care for your parents while lessening conflict, guilt, anger, and angst?
 
    Written by a veteran journalist who chronicles life and how baby boomers live it, They’re Your Parents, Too! offers all the information, insight, and advice you’ll need to make productive choices as you and your siblings begin to assume your parents’ place as the decision-making generation of your family.

    Filled with expert guidance from gerontologists, family therapists, elder-care attorneys, financial planners, and health workers; resonant real-life stories; and helpful family negotiation techniques, this is an indispensable book for anyone whose parents are aging. ... Read more

Editorial Review

In Caring for Mother, Virginia Stem Owens gives a clear and realistic account of caring for an elderly loved one. Along the way, Owens notes the spiritual challenges she encountered, not the least of which included fear of her own suffering and death. This book will be a helpful companion to those who have recently assumed the role of caregiver, helping them anticipate some of the emotional turbulence they will encounter along the way. ... Read more

Reviews

AN IMPORTANT BOOK, July 24, 2007

Virginia Stem Owens's latest book is a tremendously valuable account of the author's intricate relationship with her elderly mother, ill with dementia. While it reads as an absorbing narrative--sometimes sad, sometimes funny, always keenly honest--it also offers a carefully observed and researched medical history, bound to be instructive to both older and younger readers.

When her mother's physical frailty became problematic and Owens left her Kansas home to stay nearby her parents in Texas, she had no idea the sojourn would span seven years. In that time, her mother's diagnosis moved from Parkinson's disease to Alzheimer's, and Owens watched what she calls the "slow dismantling" of the intelligent and capable person she had known all her life.

What distinguishes this book from other records of a similar kind is Owens's unfailing sense of irony. She takes no prisoners. No one, including herself or her mother, is spared her perceptive eye and subtle wit. Doctors and medical staff particularly, are depicted with total frankness--too busy, too hasty, forgetful, insensitive--including the psychiatrist who tells the patient chirpingly to "get out more" and "find a purpose in life."

Yet the book is fair and full of compassion and the tone throughout is exactly right, an unusual accomplishment when the topic itself runs the gamut of emotions and human idiosyncracies. This is a tough record to read, but hardly depressing, and a wise-spirited author helps you through.

Very true to my experience, October 17, 2007
This book is very true to life. Since I am in the eighth year of caring for my 98-year-old mom with Alzheimer's disease and Parkinson's disease, I can definitely relate to many of the incidents written here. There are so many similarities to our past and present. I think it is a good book, especially for someone who is just beginning to care for their loved one. It helps with some of the unknowns "down the road."

An Essential Book on Dementia and Caregiving, March 16, 2009

Though the title did not sound promising, I try to read every personal account of Alzheimer's I come across, so I bought this book and sat down with it one night in my reading chair--and didn't get up for three hours. The writing was fluid, the characters strong, the dilemmas painful and eternal. "Caring for Mother" turned out to be both subtle and incisive, an essential book on dementia and patient care, perfectly contained in 163 pages.

"This is not a cheerful book," Virginia Owens explains in her Opening Note, "but it is truthful."

It's truthful, and it's vivid. The book has a story to tell, as it tracks the author's mother through an ever-increasing dementia toward what we know from the start will be a disaster. In the early chapters Virginia Owens helps look after her mother at home. Her mother has little faith in medicine: "She goes to the doctor the way I went to church as a teenager, bitter and under duress. She takes her pills like an apostate receiving communion, with little hope in their efficacy. A dark night for both soul and body."

It's worse later, in the nursing home--that place, Owens says, "the name of which strikes terror into every person's heart." When she goes to visit her mother, most of the other residents ignore her. She doesn't blame them, "They had every right to their withdrawal. Only a handful of residents have visitors who come on even a weekly basis. Most are visited occasionally, some rarely or never. People who've been abandoned develop a thick coat of defensive frost."

Owens' indictment of nursing homes is calm, steady, devastating. It's as abiding as the anger she sees in the residents: "You can feel it as soon as you come in the door. Cold Rage. For most of the people parked in wheelchairs, their anger has gone so stale after years of overuse that the emotion is routine now.... Anyone is culpable who comes through the front doors and is free to leave again under their own steam."

Owens does her best for her mother, the best that she can manage. But what never goes away, she says, what "doesn't wear out or disappear, is the feeling--no, the certain knowledge--that I could have done more, done better."

I could quote half this book, it's so good.

A Straightforward Unsentimental Journey, September 11, 2009
This is the first book I've read of Virginia Stem Owens and it's an engaging memoir. Her mother's illnesses propel the book in incremental fashion and points. If you are caring for an elderly parent or person (which I am) it is informative.

If you are looking for sentimental memoir look elsewhere. I picked this book for that reason and to try to help me through the trials of my own life and it turned out to be the perfect choice. The trials Owens and her mother go through are heart wrenching and frustrating but she keeps the facts straight and the sentimentality low. She forges through all the trials with very little emotion. But the last chapter reels it all in and encircles you with hope and strength. It's a good, informative, strength building read.

Caregiving, November 16, 2008
I have been taking care of my mother, who has Alzheimer's Disease, for a few years. More recently (6 mos ago) she has moved into my home. I laughed and cried when I read this book. I totally can related to each and every event. And yet, I feel privileged to be able to provide the care my mother needs at this time.

caring for mother, October 13, 2008
DEEPLY MOVING STORY ABOUT CARING FOR MOTHER WHO HAS DEMENTIA--FAST READING--ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE IN THIS SAME SITUATION.

Must read and PASS ON, April 19, 2010
This book arrived at a time when I really needed the uplift. It is not a caregiver guide. That has been done very well by other authors, in such as "The 36-Hour Day". This authors work touches the heart of a daughter who becomes a caregiver. . After a year or so into caregiving, I discovered there are those who are known as "the dutiful daughter". That is my tag. We owe it to each other to pass along any support or information that helps us through this process of grieving our living parent while at the same time assuming a role as their caregiver. No matter our actual level of hands-on caregiving, we assume an awesome responsibility, and have little recourse but to see it through to its natural end in spite of the personal hardships. I passed this book on to my neighbor only yesterday. It is my hope that she will do the same.

Perfect Read, June 8, 2009
This book really hits home. If you or someone you know who has a close family member with Alzheimers, this is a must read.

A practical and yet sensitive guide for family caregivers of dementia patients, June 5, 2009
I bought two copies of this book, Caring for Mother, to share with my sisters. It captures the emotional pain of dealing with the mental decline of a loved parent, the desire to provide the best care possible with the dispair of knowing it is not enough, even then, to alleviate his/her suffering. The author captures the emotional roller-coaster well, and her reflections on herself as well as her research into the physical realities serve as a helpful resource to the reader. I especially valued her final realization that the struggle, while painful, can lead to a deeper awareness of the value and meaning of human life. ... Read more

Editorial Review

Thanks to advances in science and medicine, our parents are living longer than ever before. But our health-care system doesn't perform as well when decline eventually sets in. We want to do our best as our loved ones face new complications—more diseases and disabilities—demanding further need for support and careful judgment, but the choices we have to make can seem overwhelming.

Family doctor and geriatrician Dennis McCullough recommends a new approach: Slow Medicine. Shaped by common sense and kindness, it advocates for careful anticipatory "attending" to an elder's changing needs rather than waiting for crises that force acute medical interventions—thereby improving the quality of elders' extended late lives without bankrupting their families financially or emotionally. This is not a plan for preparing for death; it is a plan for understanding, for caring, and for helping those you love live well during their final years.

Editorial Review

With more than five million people in the United States living with Alzheimer's disease and nearly ten million loved ones caring for them, addressing the concerns of these elders and their caregivers is a matter of increasing importance. Relying on their many years of experience in this area, Jane Thibault and Richard Morgan offer this book to provide a fresh, hopeful model of dealing with life and death in the realm of Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia. Caregivers have two basic needs: affirmation that caregiving is not in vain and reassurance that the lives of those for whom they care are not being lived in vain. Care receivers need more than medical attention; they need tender care, involvement in the community, and a sense of connection with a loving God. When patient and caregiver regard this shared experience as a "mutual spiritual path," each plays a role in deepening the spiritual life of the other. No Act of Love Is Ever Wasted is an excellent resource for individuals caring for loved ones as well as for counselors, support group leaders, pastors, and other professionals. In addition to offering practical ways to help, this book serves as a reminder that every act of love brings positive transformation to the recipient, to the giver, and to the world. ... Read more

Editorial Review

A USA Today BESTSELLER!

"Informative. Complete. And practical. This book will guide family caregivers through the surprisingly complex world of senior care."
—MEHMET OZ, M.D., New York Times bestselling coauthor of YOU: The Owner's Manual: The Complete All-in-One Care Guide

Choosing the best care for your aging parents and other seniors in your life is not only complex, with multiple options available, it's also highly personal and often emotional. This essential resource—written by the founders of Home Instead Senior Care, the world's largest provider of nonmedical care for seniors—guides you through a comprehensive range of things to consider, step by step, so you can make better informed decisions and be confident that the senior in your life is receiving the best care possible. Checklists and diagnostics will help you:

• Decide if at-home care is the right choice for you and your loved ones
• Evaluate the pros and cons of retirement communities, adult care centers, nonmedical caregivers, assisted living facilities, nursing homes, and hospice
• Determine the costs of senior care options and find helpful support networks

"This is not just another book about caring for aging parents. It's a great reference you'll use again and again. Stages doesn't shy away from the hard questions. Rather, it shows you how to confront them."—SUZANNE MINTZ, President/CEO, National Family Caregivers Association

"Recognizing that there is no one-size-fits-all solution, this salient volume compassionately addresses a full range of hard-to-discuss subjects."--PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

All of the authors' profits from the sale of this book will be donated to the Home Instead Senior Care Foundation.

Paul and Lori Hogan founded Home Instead Senior Care in 1994. Now with 850 offices in 15 countries, Home Instead is recognized as a global leader and authority on senior care. Visit them at www.stagesofseniorcare.com.